Cigarette Butts And A Hairy Clutz: My Cleaning Memoirs!
An amusing and harrowing tale from our good friend and customer, Laurie Perfect, chief marketing officer at TOAD. Here’s his personal, real-life cleaning story from hell!
They say you don’t really know someone until you have lived with them.
For the last 5 years, I have been living in shared accommodation in South London as I grabbed my parental emancipation with both hands and headed to the capital city from the ‘burbs.
Living with complete strangers is somewhat of a shock for most, especially me as I am protective of my private time and space. One of the biggest life-changing moments for me has been the discovery of people’s differing standards of living. Some think it’s acceptable to smoke indoors dropping cigarette ash and buts over the floor others believe that leaving their clothes around the house (so it resembles a jumble sale) is quite the interior design flourish!
These personal habits extend further than mere messiness and ‘forgetfulness’. To my horror, this forlorn attempt at hygiene control featured in many different forms around the house. There were times when I’ve found broken window panes strewn across the floor and ‘dust bunnies’ the dust equivalent of tumbleweed, as big as a cat in people’s bedrooms.
On one such occasion, I had contacted my landlord to block off our fireplace and chimney as it was akin to leaving the front door open, draft wise. The chimney itself was fully blocked with carrier bags of rubbish if you can believe it. When the contractor came round to access the situation here proclaimed that it would just need to be sealed with a sheet of MDF. He didn’t even think to remove the rubbish from the chimney itself prior to carrying out the work.
“I have had enough!”, this was the politer version of what I said to myself in my head. From here on out, we were getting a cleaner.
We never got a cleaner in the end. Over four years of searching for an affordable cleaner was unsuccessful. At this point, I should point out that I and 5 others were living in a 4-floor townhouse with 7 bedrooms and 4 bathrooms, large kitchen, and lounge, with several hallways, landings, and a rather modest sized garden. Have you ever tried to source a cleaner that:
A) has the sheer stamina to take on such a project every other week.
B) is affordable and does not warrant remortgaging your house or selling a sibling to take them on.
The level of investment needed to maintain the house in a basic state of cleanliness was almost as much as I would need to pay on rent if I was to book the cleaners frequently enough to make any difference at all.
However, I’d like to share a secret. Trust me it’s a doozy! Are you ready?
Just by popping online to Service Octopus I was finally able to compare prices of cleaners within my area at the touch of a button. You know what it’s like, you speak to a friend of a friend you have a distant cousin who has the most amazing cleaner but she only works high holidays and is based 100 miles away in Stoke. A pointless recommendation, after pointless recommendation, avoided!
There they all were. A secret world of cleaners all lined up and ready to work at the click of a button. Mop in hand, jay cloth poised. At what’s great is that I can actually select the frequency of cleaning and what budget I have available. It’s literally that simple.
Since Service Octopus came into my life, I am able to live life in harmony with my housemates. No longer am I offended by the site of a stray, nondescript hair in the bathroom or enraged by coffee stains on my beautiful hardwood flooring. Service Octopus has changed my world. Take a look but only tell those closest to you.